Excerpt Some Secrets Should Never be Known

Hello guys. Today’s excerpt is actually from my first chapter, and was written on the first. It’s fairly wordy and it is definitely from a Nanowrimo project. This, my friends, is what a first draft looks like.

The Dockmaster

“Hey! Hey, wait up.” Logan’s voice.

She huffed and walked faster. They were going to the same place. She could talk to him whenever she liked.


She could hear him coming now, his feet pounding against the wood. Thump thump thump thump. Thump thump thump thump. Her heart sped up a little bit as she broke into a run herself. She would let him catch her. They were going to the same place, after all. She didn’t really want to go through that disgusting tunnel again.

“Hey wait up,” Logan called again. It was fainter this time, as if he was running out of breath—or maybe it was the sound of the breeze rushing through her ears drowning him out. She smiled and kept running, faster, faster, feeling the power run through her muscles, feeling the power of foot connecting to wood.

She ran into something big and hard, but not as hard as a wall. She fell backwards and her hood fell away from her face. She held the hat tightly on her head and looked up. She hadn’t, as she’d first feared, run into a wall. Instead she’d run into the dockmaster, an old man with spotted skin and a hook for a left hand. The grin he offered her was equally spotty.

“What are you doing out so late my dear?”

“I-I’m on my way home.”

“You’re dressed up as a boy. Why did you dress up as a boy?” He leaned down towards her. “Do you have something to hide?”

She pulled herself away from his rank breath. “No sir. The clothes are just more comfortable is all.”

Logan ran up behind her, his hood still tightly around his head. “I’m sorry sir, it’s my little sister. She wanted to see what a bar was like, sir, so I thought I would dress her up like a boy and show her. After all, it’s not proper for a girl to be in a bar, right sir? But she had to see one at least once, or she’d be missing out.”

“You’re a lucky girl,” the dockmaster said, bending even further towards Marla. “To have such a considerate brother.” He grinned again and straightened up. He turned to Logan. “And you’re a lucky boy, because I’m not going to turn you in to the guards tonight.”

“Why… why would you turn me in to the guards? I haven’t done anything wrong.”

“False identity. If I got confused, or if you lied to me about who you were. I’m dockmaster, I get to know all about everybody what comes through here.”

“Of course. I didn’t realize we could get in trouble for it. I’m sorry sir.” Logan grabbed Marla by the left elbow and pulled her upright.

“I certainly hope so. Don’t let it happen again.”

“We won’t, sir.”

“Of course not, sir,” Marla threw in.

“Good. Now get out of my sight.”

“Yes sir,” Marla and Logan said together. They walked away, arm in arm, as quickly as they could without seeming too afraid.

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About Dianna Gunn

I am a freelance writer by day and a fantasy author by night. My first YA fantasy novella, Keeper of the Dawn, is available now through The Book Smugglers Publishing.

Posted on November 9, 2011, in Nanowrimo, Novels, Writing, Writing: The Process and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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